Diesel power

Probably the wildest days of my life
I have witnessed and lived so many memorable moments
It's unbelievable

I'm learning to be free
I'm learning how to live again

And it's amazing

After some years

You know that you're partying the right way
When you have scratches and bruises
A sore back and some fun memories

I don't care about tomorrow
But I do care that I have lived in the past 2 months
Like I haven't lived in a long, long time

Sometimes I can't believe it

The Suburbs

After a long, long time
It's nice to be in the spotlight for once

 It really is

Telekinesis - Coast of Carolina

That's what I see
And hear
When I take you home in the morning

BCJ/Uitzineviciu/Stejar

It has been a strong past month
A fast month
4 weeks of heavy drinking, like never seen before
No more painkillers for some time
Still heavy drinking

But I did get time to spend with you
And it has been great

Caprioara

I don't care about your past
As you shouldn't care about mine
I know you've had some shady moments
But I have more
So there's no reason to dig those moments up

Ii este somn caprioarei ?

I don't care what people talk about
I care that I've met you in a moment when I was so close to destroy myself
A moment when I saw no reason to go on and no reason to stop fucking myself up
A great moment for you to ask for a cigarette

A wonderful moment to walk you home
And have fun

Caprioara

Drive

Who's gonna pick you up when you fall ?

I will

Because I fell so much and I jumped back so high

Caprioara

Heavy drinking, heavy laughter
Having a good time, not caring about money or school
Sneezing blood

The fact that I got to take care of you
And sleep in the same bed with you
Worth it

BRD

When left alone in the dark
You gotta pick yourself up and believe

There are some good feelings along the way these days
I hope this one will last
No more second thoughts, no more turnovers

10

Painkillers, alcohol, the sun
Till I collapse

You'll never hear from me again

Busy Bein' Born

Cause what I get ain't half of what I give
and half don't suit me anyway

Maybe I sacrifice to feel like I'm alive
penniless, it's all the same
at least I'll die with a name.

I ain't dead yet

Happy hours

Not really caring for one person years worth of appreciation
But caring for a one nighter appreciation ..

The picture above sums it all up

Who/How/When

Battered and shattered
Who's going to save me soul ?
Because I've been battered and shattered for far too long

I don't know for how long I'll be able to keep the happy face up
The lie that I'm ok with being friends and being happy about it
It doesn't hurt as bad as it did in the past
But it's still a huge load to carry around and lie about

And the fact that I never got a second chance
Never got a second chance even if I changed so much in better in so many ways
For only one person
Is probably why I never really moved on
Because there's always that thought that maybe there was a way to make it work
And since I was never allowed to try
It keeps hanging around in my mind ..

K

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYEDA3JcQqw&ob=av2e

Asculta ce zice grasa ca zice bine
Ce ma bucur ca au trecut atatia ani si cu mine nu exista un "fresh start"
Sublim
Ce bine ca eu is ala de cacat si care nu intelege


Fine
Be that way
Proabil viata ta e mult mai buna fara mine
Asa sa fie

Concept

Why should you not plan in detail a long term plan ?

You're going to have some bumps along the way
That's where you got to stay with your conviction
Because if you start changing things around because of second guessing
You become a second guesser.

It's a matter of not losing your patience, long term speaking
There may be some kicking and scratching along the way
But you'll be within your concept and you'll be able to get back to where you want to be.

Now do you understand what was I talking to you, lady friend, about ?

O rly ?

Thank God I remember
Everything you don't

Gentleman

When it comes to certain things and invites
It's really frustrating to be the last pick
Or to hear "I don't know, maybe, no, the other place is better"
Really, really annoying sometimes

De altfel, sa ma fut intr-un anumit camin
Si cine pula mea l-a construit
Orice se intampla, caminu ala ii mai bun ca orice

?

Is this the year I make it ?
Is this the year I finally get shit done ?
The year that I feel good about myself ?
It started shitty, but am I going to go on a hot streak like in the past ?
Hot streak that would solve most of my problems ?

***************************************************************

It's nice to hear that you were the best boyfriend ever
Even if she's your ex
It's nice to hear that you're appreciated and that you did something good
And that you have a special relationship and that you are made for one another

You know what the catch is ?
As nice it is
You don't hear it from the person you want
But do you care ?
Sometimes you do, sometimes you feel a little blue ..

Moving

When the new year starts throwing waves of shit in your way
You just gotta punch your way out of it

You, lady friend

In life
Your spirit grows intimate with the pain and the frustration
Even if your will becomes ever more possessed
On the ecstasy of victory

If you let it
That’s just the start
Of what life will do to you

**********************************************************************

I’m not a conservative type of person
I’m a "let’s fucking giddy up and go" type of person
Don’t find out how it’s gonna be played
You gotta dictate right away

And put your foot and the fucking gas pedal

24/7

Are you surprised ?

You know that I'm a time of crisis
So you decided to leave me all alone

And you were saying that you're my friend ?

Gift

Like a great man once said:

"Fuck it"

24B

It's not Philadelphia but it will be sunny
And we will all look stupidly happy in a few hours

Don't lie to me, I really don't like it

HIMYM

How can one TV show
Sum up all of your feelings and happenings from your recent past ?
How .. ?

Sleepless/tiredless

It's a strange world
People are strange but I'm stranger
Strange for trying to see only the better parts of people
That I think they deserve my full attention
Even if they seem to not really care

Is it like that ?
Did you really stop caring ?
The last email I sent you was a lengthy one
You never did reply, we never talked about it

I always knew you never wanted to get back with me
I guess I simply wasn't good enough all of a sudden
I don't know

But I moved on, I've accepted the facts
You've made a clear statement when you started dating/making with random people
That weren't really interested in you even if you hanged on them
For some bizarre reason
Even if it bothers me that you don't want to fool around
With maybe the most decent person that crossed your path
Always building double standards
You always thought I'd believe we wuz gonna get back together if we fooled around
But I'm delusional nor a retard

It always baffled me why it was okay with assholes
And not with the person that never had a hidden agenda
That respected you, that cuddled with you even if we weren't together no more
That was willing to talk about stuff that ripped him in inside in half
Only to be a good friend, because I care and always wanted to be there

Don't lie
Once you got in the zone, you liked those late nights with me
Hanging around, watching a movie, fooling
I always was a gentleman when it came to this kind of stuff
Never treating you like a tool, like something usable for one night
A feeling you might get from others
Bear in mind, this kind of respect coming from an ex ?
Maybe you never thought about it
But it's kind of a big deal in our days

Always there when you needed someone to cuddle with if you felt down
But you weren't there always when I needed to
And it was okay, I understood the fact that we are not the same
But I do miss those late nights
The stupid movies, the way you acted like you didn't want to
When you did
Didn't we say that we'll still fool around until one of us gets committed ?
I guess you forgot

I am moving on, I know you don't see much in me anymore
I've always told you that our innocent play isn't a drawback for me
I am moving forward but it's nice to recall what I'm looking for
And maybe it should remind what you're looking for, too
Those nights have that sort of gift

Maybe you'll read these lines in a distant future
When those nights won't be possible anymore for various reasons

Oh, those long wintery nights (well, not so long, you used to fall asleep so fast, hah ..)

Futures/past

A dear friend of mine got a new girlfriend
She annoys me
Or at least she did this summer
All God damn summer
I hope he gets the peace and love he's been searching for a while now

*********************************************************************
His ex is concerned
She thins she's just toying with him
Just trying to forget her past by using him
She's willing to cheat on him
Just to forget her past
Her tears made me realize she literally cares
For his well being
She made me realize that ex-es can care
So much that they really want happiness for their past better halves
That she told me she is going to break that girl in half
If she fucks him over

*********************************************************************
Remember how I made fun of people ?
Of people that had commitment issues ?
That they couldn't commit whatsoever ?
That's what you gave me
"Feelings change", the classiest break-up ever known by man kind
Now every time I talk to a girl or do more than that
I always think
She likes me = we make out = we go out = she dumps me
Now I can't trust a girl
At all
Now I'm just another asshole with huge ass luggage after him
Will I ever be able to find someone ?
No thanks to you, fucking me up so bad

*********************************************************************

Went to a bar
An ex of mine got tangled up with some dude
Got to observe a number of girls
I realised how my other ex picks up morons
Made me disappointed
Reminded me how she used when nobody was there
But the second she found someone, she forget me
Of course
Thank you ever so much

*********************************************************************

An ex told me I'm the best ex-boyfriend she ever had
Even if we had our downfalls and shit over the years
It still made me feel good
Somebody actually told me for real
That I was good at something
Even if it was in past

*********************************************************************

I clashed with somebody today
But I don't care
I won
I'm giving up weight and winning fights
And that's all that matters to me
Someday .. a girl will sweep me of my feet
And show me that all hope is not lost

3:49

I just wanna break you down so badly
While I trip over everything you say
I just wanna break you down so badly
In the worst way (worst way)

I'm gonna make damn sure
I just wanna break you down so badly
I just wanna break you down so badly (damn sure)
In the worst way (worst way)

Cluj party time

Those notes you wrote me
I've kept them all
I've given a lot of thought
of how to write you back this fall
With every single letter
in every single word
There will be a hidden message
about a boy that loves a girl

There was a boy
There was

But he hopes you'll have fun with all the morons you've attracted
Morons who are so better than him
HAHA, not

So what if I'm drunk ?
My heart is in the right place
And I know I was nothing more than a plan E

There's someone out there
Who feels just like me
There is

I know it, I feel it

MRU

Where were you when I was burned and broken
While the days slipped by from my window watching
And where were you when I was hurt and I was helpless
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me
While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words
Dying to believe in what you heard

I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

It's the room, the sun and the sky
The room, the sun and the sky

I've been waiting
I've been waiting for this moment for a long time

CBC HNIC

So many people, so many opinions

Really ? I should cut it out ?

I will

Your gonna wish you never had met me

Consistency, heart, pride, inspiration, strength, devotion, endure, fire

For a better tomorrow

Front row

I always believed in futures

I hope for better in November

I try the same losing lucky numbers

Help, I'm alive

Is it ever gonna be enough ?

NJ

The history, the stories from it
Every moment, every memory is so big

Sometimes I cross the line, too much intensity
You have to feel that heat
So many emotional swings

So sudden, that’s it
It’s over

It’s been a long, tough grind
And here it is
I don’t know which emotion is stronger
The pain of losing you or the thought that I’m not good enough anymore

I don’t know if I’ll wish you well from now on for all the great moments
Or if I’ll hate you for all the moments you made me go through hell ..

I'll miss you
But I know you won't

Wish

Sometimes I wish I could never care for people
At all

Over

A little more not to collapse

8.06

It's been a long, tough grind

But I'm getting there

Madness fills my heart and soul, as if the great divide could swallow me whole

Finally, a breakthrough

Time

And they say heroes are made in the time of crisis

10:45

I can say I hope it will be worth what I give up
If I could stand up mean for the things that I believe

To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure

Collapse

Need not to collapse

You gotta live in the moment
That's what life is about
That moment
We're going to find out a lot about ourselves
You gotta live in the moment

Tired

Live fast and die young

But damn, that shit makes you really, really tired ..

Not now, no ever

Never again will there be good deeds from my part

Never again will I gonna be nice about it

Never

Not now

Not never.

It's time to make a stand.

Hmm

I've got this far

Now what the hell do I do with it ?

Do I really want it ?

Damn

CJTM

We might be in different cities

We might be wearing different colors

But we'll never drift apart

I'll promise you that

CZ

I could've made (missing)

But I didn't ..

Co za asy

When I was young and moving fast
Nothing slowed me down, slowed me down
Now I let the others pass
I've come around, oh come around
Cause I've found

Living just to keep going
Going just to be sane
All the while I know it
Such a shame

Hopeless

Really too late to call, so we wait for
Morning to wake you; it's all we got
To know me as hardly golden
Is to know me all wrong, they were

At every occasion I'll be ready for a funeral
At every occasion once more is called a funeral
Every occasion I'm ready for the funeral
At every occasion one brilliant day funeral

The quit things that no one ever knows

I'm on my way

I'm on my way

Home sweet home

Tonight, tonight

I'm on my way

Just set me free

Home Sweet Home

RUPT

And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change the less you feel
Believe, believe in me, believe
That life can change, that you're not stuck in vain
We're not the same, we're different tonight
Tonight, so bright

Opening montage

And I just can't keep living this way

So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage

I'm standing up, Imma face my demons

I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground

I've had enough, now I'm so fed up

Time to put my life back together right now

Sometimes

Sometimes we start over
And go solo
We're looking for
That summer home
Beside the sea
And for the future

...

I'm a stitch away

.. from making it.

Drunk as hell, I wrote this in MS Word so it could make the text good.

Heard our song today.

Felt bad.

Heard it again.

Felt even worse.

Got drunk.

Got happy.

The misery around me made me think.

I'm a stitch away from making it.

And a scar away from falling apart.

I do not feel.

I drink.

"a while ago, when everything was fine"

I loved you. I really did. All the dreams, all the feelings, all the talking ..

Misery.

Alcohol.

My one and only.

I believed we could overcome the odds. To be my girl. To love me. No matter how.

To have my kids. To care and protect you for ever.

But you never wanted any of these.

You never really wanted a future.

You simply waited for the end, never fighting to make it go away.

Woke up.

Lost a headset thing.

Dreamed about being happy.

But not.

Would suicide make it better ?

He considered it.

Several times.

Took the knife.

But something stopped him.

What ?

He never knew.

Something.

He promised himself never to take his own life.

Still, nothing was good.

Everything went bad.

So bad.

He wanted to cut it loose.

For good.

He feared his unknown side.

What will happen ?

He needs someone to care for him.

All the girls he met after never really cared for him.

Or they were simply whores.

Why him ?

Why did alcohol stopped being his defense ?

Peace, all what he wanted.

He lost it.

I love you alcohol.

Even if it means dying before my time.

I lost all hope.

Dreams.

Me.

Numb.

Damn ..

I'm a stitch away

Question

If you don't care, why should I ?

These streets will make you feel brand new

TV

'mias- pulan mamele voastre

a 2-a zi inlucluj. mort dea beat.

ma fut ni voi de boarfe.'

orice fata decente a icnevetat sa mai existe

sa va fut

un televizor instisn. negru. imaginea viitorului.

stii, te-ais instrainta de noi

stiu, da'ian beau, asta am reusit

why do you have feelings for you ?

itnro zi o sa fie mai bine

what is the purpose of your visit ?

welcome to the US

nezaii vostirii, miam piedut tinereatea si fiicatu pe voi

fumam ?

bem io bere /

cinei ala /

eu

ahaahha, ce tare esit, o sami fie doir de tine

mie nu mi dor de mineeenee

pulLA MEA

O bere, te rog !

* sunt la cluj de 19 zile. 14 am chefuit

* in 12 m-am imbatat

* cand ma trezesc din betie, am un sentiment de vinovatie (mai nou). De ce ?

* oare cat mai tine chefu' ?

Captaincy 2

It at all ends next week. Forever.

100

Si uite asa, am scris de 100 de ori pe gluma asta de blog. Infiintat in 2006, abandonat in 2007, partial activ in 2008, ciorna cand eram beat in 2009. Ce transformari, incredibil !! Cacat.

Mai erau cateva zile si termina primul an de facultate. Un an de cacat, irosit degeaba, facultatea nefiind ceea ce se astepta si nici Cluju pana la urma. Dar na, mai avea 2 ani si trebuia sa-i parcurga, ca na, asa se poarta pe la noi. Partea proasta era ca picase de la buget la taxa si avea sa auda despre chestia asta o vara intreaga. Totusi, amuzant cum dintr-o data eu trebuia sa fiu marele studios si sa fiu printre primii numa d'aia ca intrase la buget. Prietene, nu. Numa d'aia ca reusise o performanta notabila la bacalaureat nu insemna ca el automat a devenit un student eminent. Chiar deloc. Interesant cum s-a uitat faptul ca in liceu eram tot timpul undeva pe la mijloc, din simplul fapt ca il durea in pula. Idem si in gimnaziu. Minus clasele 1-4, ca atunci invata de frica pedepselor.

Dar vai, exista o optiune prin care n-ar trebui sa aud ca am picat la taxa. Exista o optiune prin care n-ar mai vedea pe nimeni pana la toamna. Nici macar n-am mai fi pe acelasi continent. Spera din tot sufletul sa fie ales si pleceeeeeee. Da' stii cum ? Tare de tot, un bilet de tren, descalecat, un bilet de avion, descalecat, un bilet de autobuz, descalecat, vazut de treaba. Ar fi frumos. Ar fi foarte frumos. Din pacate, inca 700 de oameni sperau la treaba asta (bine, ei probabil din total alte motive). Dar chiar si daca ar obtine cealalta chestie in Cluj .. eh da, continuat viata la camin, vazut de treaba, ne vedeam la toamna ! Dar nu te intorci acasa ? Daca as putea, cu primu avion as pleca cat mai departe, numa sa stiu ca am cazare/mancare/salar si la revedere, drum bun, ne intalnim cand ne vedem.

Vise taica, vise. Vise care daca se implinesc .. pai nu stiu ce o fi atunci, dar stiu sigur ca macar n-o sa fiu in Oradea. Si cam asta conteaza.

Pula mea

Asta e. O luam de la zero. Trecem prin situatiile din '07. Dar va mai exista o vara atat de bestiala precum '08 ? Pula mea, ce o fi, o fi. Am trecut de civil, sper ca trec si de restu si apoi, cacat, ma ingrop in munca, Peninsula, betii, mariri apoi URA! si la gara, ne vedem in Cluj. Si de data asta n-o sa ratez nimic.

Eheei, daca as castiga un concurs si as primi locu ala de munca mult visat .. fereasca Dumnezeu, ma intorc la Oradea cand oi termina licenta si mi-o pasa cand oi iesi la pensie. Sa fie cu noroc ! :D

cacat

tat ceim am vrut os fo o inmrabtisare faina ... np-ai vrut / no stress, beau psakna ajung la spital, si detas asrta nu glumessssc ;DDDDDD 4 beril la sce, o inoapte ianete ... numa bineeeeeeeeeee

genial

varaszaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa .. buani ciuc canid ai baniiii :XX

Exploding

And I hope your operation fails, I really do.

Omen

Daca va mai vorbi asa vreodata cu el, va plati scump de tot. Asta era mica lui promisiune cu ocazia schimbarii prefixului.