Curse

It's not really fair
It never was
I do miss her dearly

If I had met her a bit earlier
I wouldn't have left the country
It would've been better as a whole

But it is what it is
She said she was going to wait for me
And I said I was going to get back to her

As we waved goodbye when the train started leaving
I suddenly realized that it'll be hard
But if she's gonna wait for me ..

.. well, that would make me very happy
And if it'll work out in the end
I'll know she's a keeper for a long, long time

She is a keeper
But I can't keep her right now
I will try my best to keep her, even if I'm away

It's never really fair, is it ?
It could've been the perfect scenario
Completely burn my past and demons
Open up a bright future

Just to see it put on pause

I just hope it's temporary

Because I was happy for the first time in years
And I don't think I have it in me to wait some more years
To just be happy

All alone

Literally, nobody knows what the fuck I've been through in the past 3 days
Nobody knows what was in my soul and heart
Nobody can understand really, at least not my friends
They haven't lived these kind of moments

Flying all by yourself on the other side of the world
Not knowing what the shit are you supposed to do
Hearing that your job got terminated and that you had to go in a different city

Flying into New York at night
With nobody to greet you, nobody to help you
Having no place to sleep nor knowing how the hell to get to Pittsburgh

Phone's dead, use a payphone
Hang around JFK hoping for better moments
Thinking about all the people back home

But on a cold, lonely night in JFK
A new part in me unleashed itself
A part that knew that I had to get shit done
Do or die

Flew for 10+ hours
I fucked around JFK a whole night
Took a shuttle bus to Point Authority
Booked the most ghetto ass bus ever to Pittsburgh
It took another 12 hours to get there
Rode the bus with meth heads, rappers, some high school drop outs, fat people
One really cool dude was on the bus, but he got off after a couple of hours
Didn't sleep all the way
Got to Pittsburgh and fucked around for another couple of hours to catch the bus to the Airport
Was the only white dude in the damn waiting place
Got to the airport at night, no housing, nobody to greet or help me out
Finally solved the housing problem
Got there
Could barely sleep, just another cheap ass motel owned by some Indians that barely speak any English
Showered after two days of traveling in the same clothes

The shit I got myself into is so much bigger than myself
I just hope for the best and pray for it
I don't know how this will pan out in the end
Or who will I be in 3 and half months from now
Just like a guy in the picture
It'll be a mystery right up until the end
I just hope my "do or die" approach will keep me going
That and all of my thoughts to all the people I left back home

I never thought I'll be here
Now I am
And I gotta make it work

So help me God

Diesel power

Probably the wildest days of my life
I have witnessed and lived so many memorable moments
It's unbelievable

I'm learning to be free
I'm learning how to live again

And it's amazing

After some years

You know that you're partying the right way
When you have scratches and bruises
A sore back and some fun memories

I don't care about tomorrow
But I do care that I have lived in the past 2 months
Like I haven't lived in a long, long time

Sometimes I can't believe it

The Suburbs

After a long, long time
It's nice to be in the spotlight for once

 It really is

Telekinesis - Coast of Carolina

That's what I see
And hear
When I take you home in the morning

BCJ/Uitzineviciu/Stejar

It has been a strong past month
A fast month
4 weeks of heavy drinking, like never seen before
No more painkillers for some time
Still heavy drinking

But I did get time to spend with you
And it has been great

Caprioara

I don't care about your past
As you shouldn't care about mine
I know you've had some shady moments
But I have more
So there's no reason to dig those moments up

Ii este somn caprioarei ?

I don't care what people talk about
I care that I've met you in a moment when I was so close to destroy myself
A moment when I saw no reason to go on and no reason to stop fucking myself up
A great moment for you to ask for a cigarette

A wonderful moment to walk you home
And have fun

Caprioara

Drive

Who's gonna pick you up when you fall ?

I will

Because I fell so much and I jumped back so high

Caprioara

Heavy drinking, heavy laughter
Having a good time, not caring about money or school
Sneezing blood

The fact that I got to take care of you
And sleep in the same bed with you
Worth it

BRD

When left alone in the dark
You gotta pick yourself up and believe

There are some good feelings along the way these days
I hope this one will last
No more second thoughts, no more turnovers

10

Painkillers, alcohol, the sun
Till I collapse

You'll never hear from me again

Busy Bein' Born

Cause what I get ain't half of what I give
and half don't suit me anyway

Maybe I sacrifice to feel like I'm alive
penniless, it's all the same
at least I'll die with a name.

I ain't dead yet

Happy hours

Not really caring for one person years worth of appreciation
But caring for a one nighter appreciation ..

The picture above sums it all up

Who/How/When

Battered and shattered
Who's going to save me soul ?
Because I've been battered and shattered for far too long

I don't know for how long I'll be able to keep the happy face up
The lie that I'm ok with being friends and being happy about it
It doesn't hurt as bad as it did in the past
But it's still a huge load to carry around and lie about

And the fact that I never got a second chance
Never got a second chance even if I changed so much in better in so many ways
For only one person
Is probably why I never really moved on
Because there's always that thought that maybe there was a way to make it work
And since I was never allowed to try
It keeps hanging around in my mind ..

K

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYEDA3JcQqw&ob=av2e

Asculta ce zice grasa ca zice bine
Ce ma bucur ca au trecut atatia ani si cu mine nu exista un "fresh start"
Sublim
Ce bine ca eu is ala de cacat si care nu intelege


Fine
Be that way
Proabil viata ta e mult mai buna fara mine
Asa sa fie

Concept

Why should you not plan in detail a long term plan ?

You're going to have some bumps along the way
That's where you got to stay with your conviction
Because if you start changing things around because of second guessing
You become a second guesser.

It's a matter of not losing your patience, long term speaking
There may be some kicking and scratching along the way
But you'll be within your concept and you'll be able to get back to where you want to be.

Now do you understand what was I talking to you, lady friend, about ?

O rly ?

Thank God I remember
Everything you don't

Gentleman

When it comes to certain things and invites
It's really frustrating to be the last pick
Or to hear "I don't know, maybe, no, the other place is better"
Really, really annoying sometimes

De altfel, sa ma fut intr-un anumit camin
Si cine pula mea l-a construit
Orice se intampla, caminu ala ii mai bun ca orice

?

Is this the year I make it ?
Is this the year I finally get shit done ?
The year that I feel good about myself ?
It started shitty, but am I going to go on a hot streak like in the past ?
Hot streak that would solve most of my problems ?

***************************************************************

It's nice to hear that you were the best boyfriend ever
Even if she's your ex
It's nice to hear that you're appreciated and that you did something good
And that you have a special relationship and that you are made for one another

You know what the catch is ?
As nice it is
You don't hear it from the person you want
But do you care ?
Sometimes you do, sometimes you feel a little blue ..