RUPT

And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change the less you feel
Believe, believe in me, believe
That life can change, that you're not stuck in vain
We're not the same, we're different tonight
Tonight, so bright

Opening montage

And I just can't keep living this way

So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage

I'm standing up, Imma face my demons

I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground

I've had enough, now I'm so fed up

Time to put my life back together right now

Sometimes

Sometimes we start over
And go solo
We're looking for
That summer home
Beside the sea
And for the future

...

I'm a stitch away

.. from making it.

Drunk as hell, I wrote this in MS Word so it could make the text good.

Heard our song today.

Felt bad.

Heard it again.

Felt even worse.

Got drunk.

Got happy.

The misery around me made me think.

I'm a stitch away from making it.

And a scar away from falling apart.

I do not feel.

I drink.

"a while ago, when everything was fine"

I loved you. I really did. All the dreams, all the feelings, all the talking ..

Misery.

Alcohol.

My one and only.

I believed we could overcome the odds. To be my girl. To love me. No matter how.

To have my kids. To care and protect you for ever.

But you never wanted any of these.

You never really wanted a future.

You simply waited for the end, never fighting to make it go away.

Woke up.

Lost a headset thing.

Dreamed about being happy.

But not.

Would suicide make it better ?

He considered it.

Several times.

Took the knife.

But something stopped him.

What ?

He never knew.

Something.

He promised himself never to take his own life.

Still, nothing was good.

Everything went bad.

So bad.

He wanted to cut it loose.

For good.

He feared his unknown side.

What will happen ?

He needs someone to care for him.

All the girls he met after never really cared for him.

Or they were simply whores.

Why him ?

Why did alcohol stopped being his defense ?

Peace, all what he wanted.

He lost it.

I love you alcohol.

Even if it means dying before my time.

I lost all hope.

Dreams.

Me.

Numb.

Damn ..

I'm a stitch away

Question

If you don't care, why should I ?

These streets will make you feel brand new

TV

'mias- pulan mamele voastre

a 2-a zi inlucluj. mort dea beat.

ma fut ni voi de boarfe.'

orice fata decente a icnevetat sa mai existe

sa va fut

un televizor instisn. negru. imaginea viitorului.

stii, te-ais instrainta de noi

stiu, da'ian beau, asta am reusit

why do you have feelings for you ?

itnro zi o sa fie mai bine

what is the purpose of your visit ?

welcome to the US

nezaii vostirii, miam piedut tinereatea si fiicatu pe voi

fumam ?

bem io bere /

cinei ala /

eu

ahaahha, ce tare esit, o sami fie doir de tine

mie nu mi dor de mineeenee

pulLA MEA

O bere, te rog !

* sunt la cluj de 19 zile. 14 am chefuit

* in 12 m-am imbatat

* cand ma trezesc din betie, am un sentiment de vinovatie (mai nou). De ce ?

* oare cat mai tine chefu' ?

Captaincy 2

It at all ends next week. Forever.

100

Si uite asa, am scris de 100 de ori pe gluma asta de blog. Infiintat in 2006, abandonat in 2007, partial activ in 2008, ciorna cand eram beat in 2009. Ce transformari, incredibil !! Cacat.

Mai erau cateva zile si termina primul an de facultate. Un an de cacat, irosit degeaba, facultatea nefiind ceea ce se astepta si nici Cluju pana la urma. Dar na, mai avea 2 ani si trebuia sa-i parcurga, ca na, asa se poarta pe la noi. Partea proasta era ca picase de la buget la taxa si avea sa auda despre chestia asta o vara intreaga. Totusi, amuzant cum dintr-o data eu trebuia sa fiu marele studios si sa fiu printre primii numa d'aia ca intrase la buget. Prietene, nu. Numa d'aia ca reusise o performanta notabila la bacalaureat nu insemna ca el automat a devenit un student eminent. Chiar deloc. Interesant cum s-a uitat faptul ca in liceu eram tot timpul undeva pe la mijloc, din simplul fapt ca il durea in pula. Idem si in gimnaziu. Minus clasele 1-4, ca atunci invata de frica pedepselor.

Dar vai, exista o optiune prin care n-ar trebui sa aud ca am picat la taxa. Exista o optiune prin care n-ar mai vedea pe nimeni pana la toamna. Nici macar n-am mai fi pe acelasi continent. Spera din tot sufletul sa fie ales si pleceeeeeee. Da' stii cum ? Tare de tot, un bilet de tren, descalecat, un bilet de avion, descalecat, un bilet de autobuz, descalecat, vazut de treaba. Ar fi frumos. Ar fi foarte frumos. Din pacate, inca 700 de oameni sperau la treaba asta (bine, ei probabil din total alte motive). Dar chiar si daca ar obtine cealalta chestie in Cluj .. eh da, continuat viata la camin, vazut de treaba, ne vedeam la toamna ! Dar nu te intorci acasa ? Daca as putea, cu primu avion as pleca cat mai departe, numa sa stiu ca am cazare/mancare/salar si la revedere, drum bun, ne intalnim cand ne vedem.

Vise taica, vise. Vise care daca se implinesc .. pai nu stiu ce o fi atunci, dar stiu sigur ca macar n-o sa fiu in Oradea. Si cam asta conteaza.

Pula mea

Asta e. O luam de la zero. Trecem prin situatiile din '07. Dar va mai exista o vara atat de bestiala precum '08 ? Pula mea, ce o fi, o fi. Am trecut de civil, sper ca trec si de restu si apoi, cacat, ma ingrop in munca, Peninsula, betii, mariri apoi URA! si la gara, ne vedem in Cluj. Si de data asta n-o sa ratez nimic.

Eheei, daca as castiga un concurs si as primi locu ala de munca mult visat .. fereasca Dumnezeu, ma intorc la Oradea cand oi termina licenta si mi-o pasa cand oi iesi la pensie. Sa fie cu noroc ! :D

cacat

tat ceim am vrut os fo o inmrabtisare faina ... np-ai vrut / no stress, beau psakna ajung la spital, si detas asrta nu glumessssc ;DDDDDD 4 beril la sce, o inoapte ianete ... numa bineeeeeeeeeee

genial

varaszaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa .. buani ciuc canid ai baniiii :XX

Exploding

And I hope your operation fails, I really do.

Omen

Daca va mai vorbi asa vreodata cu el, va plati scump de tot. Asta era mica lui promisiune cu ocazia schimbarii prefixului.

Something

Ceva se intampla. Si nu e bine.

Un deja vu interesant persista. Si nu era bine.

Oare ce va urma ? Oare va fi de bine ?

Ah Clujule, ce faci tu din oameni :D

Sa curga alcoalele, oh da, ca-n zilele buneeee :D

Runaway

I was feeling sad

Can't help looking back

Highways flew by



.. and you didn't really miss me, not so often

6/49

Vreau sa castig la loto ca sa amortesc. Vreau sa castig la loto ca sa plec departe, foarte departe si sa fiu beat si atunci cand dorm. Vreau sa plec spre Marea Britanie sa fiu beat intr-o suburbie a Londrei. Vreau sa traiesc pentru totdeauna la hotelul romanesc din Offenbach si sa beau pentru vesnicie acolo, apoi sa ma plimb beat pe sosea pe timpul noptii in timp ce evit masini. Vreau pur si simplu sa beau pana n-o sa mai stiu de ce am ajuns acolo si cine eram inainte.

Asa linistea va fi un lucru firesc. Nu va mai fi ceva chinuitor, nu vor mai fi griji si intrebari, nu vor mai exista momente de criza .. va exista doar alcoolul. Si eu :D

Un sac mare de bani, un Mercedes Benz G 55 AMG, multe cartuse de Marlboro romanesti si jumate de masina umpluta cu alcool si salut :D Am rezolvat problema :D

I cannot repair

What have I become

My sweetest friend

Everyone I know

Goes away in the end



And you could have it all

My empire of dirt ..

pft

sa-mi bag pula daca o sa mai ... {text missing}